Starship Iris 3.06 Rethink

3.06.01 INT. FRUITBAT COCKPIT. 

THEME

SANA

You can, uh. You can get here before noon tomorrow?

ARKADY

We are gonna do our absolute damnedest.

SANA

Good. And listen, have the Regime’s defense site on your screen ready to go. I’ve got an in.

ARKADY

How?

SANA

Biometric. In my eye. We think I can log in long enough to bring it all down. The drones at least. You’ve gotta get here—

ARKADY

We will, we will. You want me to go get Park or call Campbell?

SANA

Both would be great, but in the meantime, Arkady. Arkady, is it really—? Can you say something you’d say?

ARKADY

Christ, Sana. I can barely— words are a little goddamn— are you okay?

SANA

(SHAKY BREATH) Gonna be. How is everyone?

ARKADY

We’re good, we’re good. We’re on our way.

SANA

Hey. Let’s call it a code indigo, huh?

ARKADY

It’s her, right? I mean, tell me it’s her. It’s her, with a biometric log-in to the Regime’s defenses and the exact coordinates of where she is?

MCCABE

There are a number of other possibilities. The right computer program, trained on her voice—

BRIAN

McCabe, do you know what a code indigo is?

MCCABE

What?

KREJJH

Code indigo.

VIOLET

(REALIZING) Captain Tripathi had a system, of the different levels of danger involved in a mission. Color-coded.

MCCABE

Right, the IGR never managed to crack it.

PARK

All we knew is that teal is blue and green.

ARKADY

Well, indigo is blue and purple. Blue: highest level of urgency, and purple—

KREJJH

—rendezvous soon. It’s her!

ARKADY

Yeah. So we fly as fast as we can, as safe as we can, and in the meantime, we do everything in our power to be ready at go-time.

Krejjh, we’re gonna need your best flying, that means you’re off-duty, Park’s on for the next six hours. McCabe, you heard the end of that clip, someone’s coming for her and we are sure as Hell gonna need a sniper. You’re off for nine hours, try for a healthy number of REM cycles. Violet, ditto with a doctor, no way none of us get at least a little scraped up. Brian. Go do…whatever it is you need to do.

BRIAN

On it.

ARKADY

Good. And dismissed, all of you. 

FX: DOORS OPEN. BRIAN, KREJJH, AND MCCABE LEAVE. DOORS CLOSE.

ARKADY

Yeah, exactly. Out you go.

VIOLET

Are you dismissed, Captain?

ARKADY

Violet! Hey. You’re asleep on your feet.

VIOLET

After you.

ARKADY

In a minute. I need to take stock of our weapons, and—

VIOLET

You’ve taken stock twice. Nothing’s changed. They didn’t go anywhere. (A BEAT) We’re in space. 

ARKADY

I just, I need a sec.

VIOLET

We’ll need a Captain, too. When we land on the planet. When whatever happens, happens.

ARKADY

I know.

VIOLET

Do you want the rundown, of what sleep deprivation does to the body? Hallucinations. Hypertension. Heart disease. Hippocampal cell death. And that’s just the H’s.

ARKADY

That was very good. Very…alphabetical.

VIOLET

I’m not joking. And if I can’t argue this from the standpoint of your own health, which should be more than enough…I sleep better when you’re there.

ARKADY

Me too. Not—obviously I sleep better when I’m there, but you—

PARK

(PLEASANTLY) You could take this somewhere else.

ARKADY

Oh, hi, Park.

PARK

Hello. And goodbye.

  3.06.02 INT. FRUITBAT HALLWAY. 

FX: DOOR OPENS. VIOLET AND ARKADY WALK THROUGH, AND WE FOLLOW THEM. DOORS CLOSE BEHIND THEM.

ARKADY

I really do need to check on the others, though. Make sure they’re resting.

VIOLET

Arkady—

ARKADY

You can set a timer for five minutes. If I’m not back, I’ll owe you.

VIOLET

Owe me what?

ARKADY

Triple dish duty.

VIOLET

We’re all eating ration slices out of the package, we don’t have dishes.

ARKADY

Damn, nothing gets by you.

VIOLET

Two back massages.

ARKADY

I’d do those for free.

VIOLET

Well, you drive whatever’s the opposite of a hard bargain.

ARKADY

A soft—

VIOLET

A soft bargain, thanks.

ARKADY

You really sleep better with me?

VIOLET

I really do. (A BEAT) What?

ARKADY

Just—damn, what am I gonna do without you taking up three quarters of the mattress? Genuinely not sure how somebody so short can even do that.

VIOLET

Maybe you don’t—

ARKADY

No, you’re right, I’m getting soppy. Must be all the hippocampal cell death. Set a timer, I’ll be back soon.

FX: ARKADY’S FOOTSTEPS DOWN THE HALL.

3.06.03 INT. FRUITBAT. MCCABE’S ROOM

FX: A KNOCK ON A DOOR.

MCCABE

(THROUGH DOOR) Yes?

ARKADY

You resting?

MCCABE

(THROUGH DOOR) I was.

ARKADY

Wait, really?

MCCABE

(THROUGH DOOR) You said to rest. Why, what’s happening?

ARAKDY

Yeah, uh. Great work. As you were.

3.06.04 INT. FRUITBAT KITCHEN

FX: ARKADY’S FOOTSTEPS FURTHER DOWN THE HALL.

BRIAN

(VERY FAINTLY THROUGH THE WALL) —dunno if we wanna take the plunge on it, though. I thought the Iris 4 had a—

FX: KITCHEN DOORS OPEN. ARKADY WALKS IN.

ARKADY

Evening, Krejjh, Brian. 

FX: KITCHEN DOORS CLOSE BEHIND HER.

KREJJH

Heya, Captain Patel!

ARKADY

So when I said “offduty before the most important mission of our lives,” you heard “hang out in the kitchen, eating—” what’s that smell? (FX: ARKADY CROSSES DEEPER IN THE ROOM) Did you put protein singles down the toaster?

KREJJH

The crunch makes it almost taste like food!

BRIAN

Sorry, dude. We’re gonna try to catch some Z’s in a sec, we just got kinda keyed up, needed a snack.

KREJJH

Ooh, maybe Captain Patel can help us?

ARKADY

What’s the problem?

BRIAN

Naming ships.

ARKADY

What?

KREJJH

It’s like naming a baby. Bigger than that, because if you get it wrong, your spaceship can’t go apply to get it changed.

ARKADY

…does anybody wanna guess how far down this one lives in the bucket of “shit to think about after noon tomorrow”?

BRIAN

You don’t think it’s time to maybe start considering what’s next?

ARKADY

The mission. 

KREJJH

I believe my extremely good-looking husband means “after that.”

ARKADY

Or maybe we need to focus on how we’re about to put our whole crew in danger, so we can get our captain out of danger and save the goddamn—

KREJJH

We’ve got time, we can do both.

BRIAN

Hey. 

ARKADY

Yeah?

BRIAN

When this is all over, if this is heading in a direction where it could someday be over, what do you want?

ARKADY

I…what? What do you want?

KREJJH

The usual. A ship of our own, a real good reason to fly it. Let’s say, medium peril? No cowering in the cockpit, but no falling asleep in there either.

ARKADY

Smuggling?

BRIAN

If we really do bring down the Regime, and what comes next is any shade of reasonable, sooner or later, most of our old cargo’ll wind up totally legal. Good for, like, humanity. Not great for the profit margin.

KREJJH

We were thinking something in the line of search and rescue? We could go anywhere, and Crewman Jeeter could remotely teach his pals on Mirzakhani ‘til we find a replacement.

ARKADY

Huh.

KREJJH

“Huh”? What’s huh?

ARKADY

You’ve talked about this. With each other.

BRIAN

Well, yeah.

KREJJH

Who else would we talk to about it?

BRIAN

More to the point, uh, have you maybe not been talking about the future? 

ARKADY

Uh…

BRIAN

With Violet, I mean?

ARKADY

Jeeter, as your captain, I order you to shut it.

BRIAN

You don’t have to tell us. 

KREJJH

Yeah, feel free to skedaddle from your feelings. But between you and me, I’ve seen the vents in this ship and they’re small.

BRIAN

Have you talked to anyone?

ARKADY

Does “shut it” have some secret extra meaning in Dwarnian?

KREJJH

No no no, you’re right, you’re right. Zip that lip at a clip. 

ARKADY

I, uh.

KREJJH

Not a slip. On the ship. Pip pip!

BRIAN

We overstep sometimes, and we should probably—intraship harmony, especially without, uh, anyone to smooth things over.

ARKADY

Thank you.

KREJJH

You’re welcome!

ARKADY

Goodnight.

BRIAN

Sorry for pushing.

ARKADY

Understood.

KREJJH

Absotively!

ARKADY

Wow, really?

BRIAN

Have a good night.

FX: ARKADY WALKS TOWARDS THE DOOR, THEN STOPS.

ARKADY

It’s just. 

BRIAN

Yeah?

ARKADY

I can’t exactly go, “Hey Liu, how do you feel about leaving your family, and your work in San Ramos that you love, that means a lot to you, in order to follow me out into the wilds of I’m-not-sure-yet, just because—”

KREJJH

Because…?

ARKADY

Changed my mind, how big are the vents?

KREJJH

Think the term is “dinky”.

BRIAN

Crap, the person you’d normally talk to about this stuff is Tripathi.

ARKADY

I mean, you’re leaving out the part where we drink a lot first, but you’re not wrong.

BRIAN

Does Violet want to talk about it, d’you think?

ARKADY

She might’ve tried to—bring it up, but you can’t just spring that on a person. It’s hard to… She shouldn’t go with me, though. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do, just—the thought of going to the same job every day and coming home to the same goddamn place every night for the rest of my life…

KREJJH

You’d hate it.

ARKADY

…yeah.

BRIAN

What about taking care of the goats on Mirzakhani? Seemed like that was treating you okay.

ARKADY

Because I knew it was temporary! I can’t do that forever.

KREJJH

You could come with us!

ARKADY

No, I couldn’t.

BRIAN

Because…?

ARKADY

The things I can do, the things I can do well, they’re not—I wasn’t made for peacetime, I won’t—

BRIAN

Oh, is this the “I’m a living weapon” speech?

I’ve seen you drunk, too, y’know. And you’re good at stuff that isn’t—all that. Captaining.

ARKADY

(SKEPTICAL NOISE)

KREJJH

Hacking.

ARKADY

What kind of search and rescue needs a hacker?

KREJJH

The cool kind.

BRIAN

The kind that’ll probably still have to get around plenty of Regime nonsense. Like the minefields of yore, and stuff. Not to mention, online attacks from Regime loyalists and old enemies and, and mafia folks. We’d be sitting ducks out there.

ARKADY

Christ, Jeeter, how were you thinking you were gonna deal with this alone?

KREJJH

We weren’t.

ARKADY

(INCREDULOUS) You weren’t gonna—

KREJJH

—do it alone, obviously. I mean, we did just ask you. We’re asking McCabe, too, we need their trigger finger. But yeah, typing fingers, also nice.

ARKADY

Wait, so your entire plan, your whole goddamn future, hinges on me saying yes? What is that? 

KREJJH

We figure, we only need to get you or Doctor Liu onboard for sure and the other will follow.

ARKADY

You’re telling Violet about this?

BRIAN

No, you’re telling her.

KREJJH

You’ll make the case to her way better than we could. Give her the old guppy eyes.

ARKADY

What?

KREJJH

The—I don’t know, most of your earth animals have eyes, make a guess!

BRIAN

Honestly, our main worry was that you two already had a plan together.

KREJJH

Which, in hindsight, of course you haven’t had one single teeny talk about it! (LAUGHS) Classic.

BRIAN

We are gonna need a doctor, though. I mean, search and rescue without a medical professional, that’s search and band-aid.

ARKADY

Brian, Krejjh, you are out of your goddamn minds. (A BEAT) Sana as captain? Park as whatever Park does?

BRIAN

It sounds good, right?

ARKADY

Suspiciously good.

KREJJH

Nothing up my sleeve! Except my armpit.

ARKADY

It’s not gonna happen that way, you know. 

BRIAN

Yeah? Citation needed, dude.

ARKADY

I thought we’d all spend the war sitting around sharing goat cheese, remember?

BRIAN

This is…kinda different.

ARKADY

Life’s not in the habit of listening to your fluffy little dreams. 

KREJJH

Okay, ouch.

BRIAN

Arkady—

ARKADY

I was gonna have a garden.

BRIAN

You have one. On this ship.

ARKADY

No, not, like a hydroponic pod. I was gonna raise herbs and hot peppers and fruit trees and vegetables and shit you don’t even need, like just some random-ass flowers you grow because you can.

KREJJH

Doctor Liu would love that.

ARKADY

I used to think, when I was on Cresswin. I barely even bought it, that you could get something out of dirt like that, but I’d plan and re-plan my little square. And then we won. And then shit got so, so bad. And then the war and the Seven-Sevens and everything after, and now when I put my boots on a planet, I can never stop feeling just a little trapped.

BRIAN

I hear that.

ARKADY

And that—that is best-case scenario with shit like this, to realize you can’t want it anymore. That you’re too…whatever.

KREJJH

Too…?

ARKADY

Goddamn tired, for one thing.

BRIAN

Okay, but like. The future is coming either way. You’re gonna have to make choices, and live with them, sooner or later. (A BEAT) Also, not to put too fine a point on it: without a hacker out there, we will die.

ARKADY

(QUOTING BRIAN IN 3.01) “Kinda manipulative, to play that card.”

BRIAN

Does that mean it’s working?

KREJJH

Of course it’s working. We are criminal masterminds.

ARKADY

Krejjh, is your shirt on backwards?

KREJJH

All a matter of perspective, my good friend!

ARKADY

I—uh. Y’know, I’ll need. Uh. GIve me a minute, to. Decide what I—

FX: THE KITCHEN DOORS OPEN.

ARKADY

Violet.

VIOLET

Time’s up.

ARKADY

Right, I’ll see you folks later.

FX: ARKADY CROSSES BACK TO THE DOOR.

BRIAN

Think about what we said?

KREJJH

Ooh and we should get a dog or a cat. Give it a little wheel to run on!

ARKADY

Go sleep, both of you.

KREJJH

Take turns collecting the eggs!

3.06.05 INT. FRUITBAT HALLWAY INTO ARKADY & VIOLET’S ROOM

FX: DOORS OPEN, VIOLET AND ARKADY STEP THROUGH, DOORS CLOSE. WE ARE FOLLOWING VIOLET AND ARKADY DOWN THE HALL.

ARKADY

D’you get the sense Krejjh maybe isn’t a hundred percent clear on what a dog or a cat is?

VIOLET

Yesterday, they were talking about teaching it to say curse words.

ARKADY

From what I remember, cats already know those, they just leave it implied.

VIOLET

Hey. Um.

ARKADY

Sorry. About the timer.

VIOLET

I’m not mad about the timer.

ARKADY

But you are mad?

VIOLET

A little, yeah. I’ve known you, what, seven months? I wish it was easier to convince you to take care of yourself. I’ve told you all the health risks, what, do I need to sing them like an opera?

ARKADY

I know I should, but right now, I—as captain, there’s so much else I have to worry about.

FX: BEDROOM DOORS OPEN. THEY WALK THROUGH. DOORS SHUT.

VIOLET

And as captain, you set the example for your crew. If you don’t slow down and take a breath, then it won’t feel natural to any of us. Like it or not, you set the tone, and I don’t think I’ve seen you relax since we set foot on the ship.

ARKADY

The more I think about it, I don’t think Tripathi ever fully relaxed, either.

VIOLET

Then that’s something she’ll need to work on. When we find her. After we—you know the rest. Rest, get it?

FX: BLANKETS ARE PULLED BACK. VIOLET SITS ON THE BED.

ARKADY

Yeah.

VIOLET

Do you wanna set the alarm or should I?

ARKADY

Violet.

VIOLET

Yeah?

ARKADY

I think it would be easier. For me to relax. If, uh, first we had…a little talk.

FX: ARKADY SITS ON THE BED.

VIOLET

(AUDIBLY NERVOUS) Okay.

ARKADY

And I don’t even know where to start, it’s like, shit, the questions are so big that they’re barely even questions and there’s a million angles, Hell, there’s so many angles it’s some kind of Escher nightmare. And I tell myself, it’s not time yet—and it isn’t time yet, is the thing, but not even having a direction to point to is screwing me up. And the more we don’t talk about it, the bigger this bullshit is, and the more angles until it’s not even a shape, it’s just this impossible…thing. Do you see what I’m…? 

VIOLET

No?

ARKADY

Yeah, literally, how could you. I, uh. Just. What are we gonna do?

VIOLET

Tomorrow?

ARKADY

If tomorrow goes right. If we save Sana and we disable the drones long enough to make a real attack on their weapons, if the impossible happens and we actually win for once, what’s next? What the Hell are we supposed to do next?

VIOLET

Yeah. That’s a good question. We’ll need to rebuild, and not just put back what used to be there, it’ll have to be such an, an act of hope and radical creation—

ARKADY

Oh, uh. I meant. I meant selfishly. I meant us. You and me. I, all of that, too, making something that’s never been made before when all of us who are still even left are absolutely goddamn spent, of course there’s all of that. 

But also. I’m sorry but I can’t stay in San Ramos for any real length of time. I think, if I, uh. I think I need to keep moving. I think if I stop, there’s way too much behind me; it’ll catch up. And I’m not even—This is so goddamn presumptuous, even talking like this, talking like you wanna cash out in the same place, but. You were there on the ground when I freaked out on Krejjh, maybe you already kinda know it wouldn’t work out for me there forever.

So the thing is, uh. (CLEARS THROAT) Brian and Krejjh are trying to get another ship going, if you can believe that. Search and rescue.

VIOLET

They’ll need a doctor.

ARKADY

And a hacker, to hear them tell it.

VIOLET

Arkady. Are you asking me to join your crew?

ARKADY

—and obviously, I would never try to get in the way of the work you’re doing—

VIOLET

Oh.

ARKADY

Wait, do you want to—? You’re this, this important doctor on San Ramos—

VIOLET

I could be an important doctor anywhere. I—that sounds terrible, that sounds so arrogant, but you know what I mean. Every place in the universe is hurting. Are you breaking up with me?

ARKADY

No!

VIOLET

Because I don’t think I can do long distance for the rest of our lives. 

ARKADY

You don’t.

VIOLET

Everything makes me think of you. I’ll see some exposed rebar and I’ll think about that time you defended yourself with only construction supplies or I’ll see a piece of rock shaped exactly like a mushroom and suddenly I have a million questions for you, like did you ever see that fungi that looks like human hands and what would you say it means about the universe? And I live in a warzone, so I see rubble all the—goddamn time. 

ARKADY

I think about you, too. So much.

VIOLET

It’s like being haunted. It’s like being haunted and being the ghost at the same time and I can’t stop it. And sometimes we get to see each other, and that’s great, it’s wonderful, and that good feeling lasts a week or two, but in the back of my mind I always know you’re leaving again, or I’m leaving again, and then you’re just out there where anything could happen to you.

I miss you all the time, and I’m so tired of it. I’m tired of everything always being in pieces around me. I want to start building something, and I don’t think we can do that with all of outer space between us. I can’t. I can’t do that to either of us.

ARKADY

Wait, are you breaking up with me?

VIOLET

Why didn’t you ask me to come with you?

ARKADY

Didn’t think you’d say yes.

VIOLET

Why not? 

ARKADY

I don’t…

VIOLET

Arkady, what do I need to do, to prove that I’m serious about you? Look, I know you’ve been through so much, in a lot of ways you’ve been through more than I can imagine. You have your scars and I try to respect that, I really do. But this relationship can’t be me constantly jumping through hoops, trying to prove something you refuse to believe no matter what I—

ARKADY

I said “I love you” first. 

VIOLET

You did, and I’m not—

ARKADY Do you think that was easy for me?

VIOLET

That’s not what I’m saying. 

ARKADY

What, then? Try harder? Try better?

VIOLET

Trust me. Just, trust me a little. You’ve been distant since the start of the mission.

ARKADY

I’m not distant, I’m here all the goddamn time, I’m just exhausted—

VIOLET

You love telling me how smart I am, Arkady, give me a little credit for picking up on the subtext when it’s here all the goddamn time—you’ve been so sure I had one foot out the door.

ARKADY

You should. You should be out there, saving lives, doing great things, spending time with your living family—

VIOLET

I think, I uh. You know what, I shouldn’t say that. I shouldn’t—never mind.

ARKADY

Yeah, Liu, great, let me really marinate in whatever the Hell that just was.

VIOLET

It isn’t—what I want to—it’s not fair.

ARKADY

Fair doesn’t count for shit if it’s true. (A BEAT) Tell me. Don’t dress it up in a lot of words. Waiting is worse than…

VIOLET

Well. It’s. (DEEP BREATH) Given where I’m from, and what I’ve seen, I don’t love it when other people make big decisions for me?

ARKADY

What’re you getting at?

VIOLET

I think—I think you know.

ARKADY

Yeah, you’re right. That isn’t fair.

I do one thing you don’t like and suddenly I’m them? The people who killed Alvy and took Sana and leveled San Ramos?

VIOLET

Yeah, Arkady, it isn’t fair, but that is where my brain goes when someone takes a choice like that away from me! Someone I’m supposed to trust. Someone I want to trust. It is—it is absolutely terrifying. And it brings back—I know, I don’t talk about this much, but from the coup until like seven months ago, I lived right under the thumb. I wasn’t—shooting, or getting shot, and I never had to worry about food. I’m not trying to take away from any of that. 

But every single day, I understood that the Regime could do whatever it wanted to me. Shape my life however they wanted. Put me in any situation they wanted. And that if I said the wrong thing, or did the wrong thing, or if I said or did the right thing in front of the wrong people, they could go after every person I cared about.

This hits a nerve for me. I’m sorry, but you want honesty? It does. It just does.

ARKADY

Y’know, you can. Talk about it more, I mean. I tell you about my shit.

VIOLET

Yeah, but this isn’t. It’s not on the same planet.

ARKADY

Who cares? If it’s screwing with you this much, it matters, okay?

VIOLET

Are we still fighting?

ARKADY

Yeah, we’re still goddamn fighting! How can you tell me to open up, over and over and over, and not even mention—

VIOLET

How in the universe does it not go without saying?

ARKAD

YThat it happened, okay. That it’s still in your head? Uh, yeah, that’s the kind of shit you tell your girlfriend.

VIOLET

It’s not in my head all the time.

ARKADY

Then you tell me when it is!

VIOLET

I just did, and you yelled at me!

ARKADY

I didn’t know, okay? Maybe I should’ve, but I didn’t. And on top of your anxiety—

VIOLET

Yeah.

ARKADY

I’ll say this for, uh, the lifestyle. Maybe I’ve been shot at more than you, but I’ve had years where I was free to say exactly what I thought of the people doing the shooting. Bullets aside, there’s a kind of safety in that.

VIOLET

“Bullets aside.”

ARKADY

Uh-huh?

VIOLET

You wouldn’t be saying “bullets aside” if you saw what a high-powered round of ammunition can do to a person’s innards.

ARKADY

Maybe. But I’ve seen what it does to the...outtards. And so have you, since meeting me. Because of meeting me.

VIOLET

I’m glad it happened. I really am.

ARKADY

We didn’t ruin your life?

VIOLET

Despite what Chuck Weathers would have you believe.

ARKADY

So it’s agreed, then? 

VIOLET

That you need to trust me when I say that I love you? That it matters?

ARKADY

I—we’re still on that?

VIOLET

We’re still on it until you answer me.

ARKADY

I’m trying. I am. Then everyone showed up again and I thought, I don’t know. The brain resets, you know? Recalibrates. If you told me, back when we were on the Rumor, that I was gonna get to date you, shit, I would’ve—I don’t even know. After the denial phase, I would’ve danced a stupid little goddamn jig.

VIOLET

I’d like to see that.

ARKADY

No, you wouldn’t. I’m a shitty dancer.

VIOLET

Now I’d really like to see it.

ARKADY

I can’t—I can’t take it for granted, okay? I can’t get used to it. There’s a lot of reasons, good reasons, for you to hightail it back to San Ramos when this is over.

VIOLET

And I’m telling you, I don’t want to do that without you.

ARKADY

Think about what that really means.

VIOLET

I have. I have thought about it. 

ARKADY

Okay.

VIOLET

Okay?

ARKADY

Yeah. (A BEAT) And you’re gonna tell me your shit?

VIOLET

Even when it’s nothing?

ARKADY

It’s never nothing.

VIOLET

Even when, compared to you—

ARKADY

Don’t compare. (A BEAT) I’m serious, don’t compare. Even if you think your shit can’t stack up to mine. Look, a lot of things can happen to a person. A near—a near-infinite amount of things. But we’re all dealing with it on pretty much the same machinery, right? And that machinery is all we’ve got. It’s what we are. Even if the input was worse, there’s only so many ways the machinery knows how to react. If something happens that creates a hard output, your system has to deal with it, same as anyone’s, no matter what brought it on.

FX: VIOLET FLOPS ONTO THE BED.

VIOLET

Huh.

FX: ARKADY FLOPS ONTO THE BED.

ARKADY

Yeah, see?

VIOLET

I’ll try. I can try.

ARKADY

Trying’s a start. Can I—can we—?

VIOLET

Of course, hang on.

FX: BOTH OF THEM SHIFT ON THE BED UNTIL THEY’RE SPOONING.

VIOLET

That’s better. I can try, and we can take advantage of my new-found freedom and tell the Regime to go to Hell.

ARKADY

Go to Hell, Regime.

VIOLET

Take all your bullshit and go straight to Hell.

ARKADY

Regime, go suck an egg.

VIOLET

(ALMOST LAUGHING) I’m sorry, what?

ARKADY“

Go suck an egg”?

VIOLET

I’ve never heard that before in my life. What part of space is that from?

ARKADY

Every part with English speakers? Because it’s a common saying?

VIOLET

What does it—like a scrambled egg, or—?

ARKADY

Nnno, in the shell.

VIOLET

That would make it harder, to get your mouth around it.

ARKADY

That’s the point. It’s an insult. Like “Go to Hell.”

VIOLET

Is this a prank?

ARKADY

Ask Jeeter. 

VIOLET

He studies medieval Dwarnian epic poetry, not—made-up phrases nobody’s said since the dawn of time.

ARKADY

Ask anyone.

VIOLET

I am not asking anyone, I refuse to wake up absolutely any member of the crew for this conversation.

ARKADY

“Go suck an egg.”

VIOLET

I’m sure if you say it enough, it’ll sound like a real thing.

ARKADY

If I was gonna invent a phrase, why would I invent this one?

VIOLET

Is it a raw egg? Like, if you suck on it, the pressure cracks the shell and then you’ve got a mouthful of goop?

ARKADY

It’s any kind of whole big egg. A hardboiled egg. A duck egg.

VIOLET

A dog egg.

ARKADY AND VIOLET

(LAUGHTER. THEY ARE SO IN LOVE AND ALSO THEY ARE SO, SO TIRED.)

VIOLET

(STILL LAUGHING) Jesus.

ARKADY

Who’s gonna break it to Krejjh, that a dog is not a chicken?

VIOLET

To be fair, I’ll owe you five backrubs if you can name a single fact about any creature from Krejjh’s side of space that isn’t a Dwarnian.

ARKADY

Eels.

VIOLET

Not a fact.

ARKADY

Jellied eel tastes better than it sounds.

VIOLET

That’s subjective.

ARKADY

I think jellied eel tastes better than it sounds?

VIOLET

I can’t fact-check that.

ARKADY

Maybe not, but it is true.

VIOLET

Do you think it’s even possible? Finding Sana before they do and getting all of us out of there alive?

ARKADY

Do I think it’s possible? Not right now it isn’t, no. But I think. Maybe we’ll do it.

VIOLET

Yeah. See you in the morning.

ARKADY

See you. (A BEAT) (HUMS “WHACK FOR MY DADDY-O, WHACK FOR MY DADDY-O”)

VIOLET

(HALF-ASLEEP) “There’s whiskey in the jar-o…”

CREDITS MUSIC

JESS

This episode features—

ISHANI

Ishani Kanetkar as Arkady Patel

BRI

Bri LeFever as Krejjh

JAMIE

Jamie Price as Brian Jeeter

CINDY

Cindy Chu as Violet Liu

JACKIE

Jackie Andrews as RJ McCabe

CHRIS

Chris Choi as Jin Seon Park

JESS

Written by Jessica Best

ELLA

Directed by Ella Watts

LAUREN

Dialogue cut by Lauren Grace Thompson

ELEANOR

Production Coordinator Eleanor Hyde

JEFFREY

Sound design by Jeffrey Nils Gardner

JESS

Opening credits music is “Fear for the Storm” by Jessica Best and S.E. Winters, performed by Chiron Star with Erin Bauman on vocals and harmonies arranged by Jamie Price.

AMBER

The closing credits music is “Rocket Science” by Amber Devereux of Tin Can Audio