• Andrea Klassen

13. "Ella, Enchanted"

1. FINALE


(ONCE AGAIN, WE HEAR THE SOFT FOLKY INSTRUMENTAL GUITAR OF "ONCE TOMORROW" BY JOSH WOODWARD.)


TONY

(IN NARRATOR MODE)

Most people who come to Selkirk, they're running from something. But when the thing you want to leave behind is yourself, what can you do? For most of my life, I thought the answer was nothing. But now I know...


The only thing to do is face it head on.


( MUSIC SOFTENS, SOFT BIRDSONG ALSO IN THE BACKGROUND. DIALOGUE FADES IN, SLOWLY BECOMING CLEARER. )


GARRETT

Are we sure that worked?


JODI

He's not moving.


GRACE Try kicking him?


GARRETT

No, look -- he's waking up.


JODI

Tony? Open your eyes.


TONY

(VERY RASPY, MUDDLED)

...did I kill it?


JODI

Yeah. Yeah you did, you idiot.


GARRETT

Don't try to sit up yet.


TONY

Hey, uh... why does everything hurt?


GARRETT

You... got a little banged up out there.


GRACE

Oh Christ, just tell him.


GARRETT

('ZIP IT' NOISE)


TONY

What does she mean?


JODI

You, ah...


GRACE

You've been dead six months.


GARRETT

Uh, welcome back?


(THE NON INSTRUMENTAL VERSION OF "ONCE TOMORROW" SWELLS UP AS THOUGH PLAYING OVER CREDITS.)

WHITNEY AND KATE

(INARTICULATE YELLING)

SOUND: A TV TURNS OFF.

(MUSIC CUTS OFF WITH TV. WE'RE IN A REGULAR SIZED ROOM.)

KATE

Did Garrett have an eyepatch?


WHITNEY

Did Jodi have a neck tattoo?


KATE

Tony's been dead six months?


WHITNEY

...they got renewed for a second season right?


KATE

Yeah. But not until next summer.


WHITNEY

We have to wait a year?


KATE

A whole entire year.


(BEAT)

SOUND: A GLASS PICKED UP OFF A TABLE

WHITNEY

...do you want more wine?


KATE

Dude, I want so much wine.


SOUND: TWO PEOPLE GET OFF A COUCH, START TO HEAD OUT OF THE ROOM.

WHITNEY

To the wine!


KATE

To the wine!


Best vacation ever?


WHITNEY

Best vacation ever!

(THEY IMPROV AS WE FADE OUT. BEAT OF SILENCE, THEN.)


2. IRL


(A RELATIVELY BUSY CITY STREET. CAR TRAFFIC, MOSTLY. GENERALLY NO NATURE.)

KATE

(UNDER HER BREATH) Okay. Okay, this is fine. This is cool. Just go inside and be... normal. Just a normal human person. Just a chill, normal human--


ELLA (CALLED FROM A LITTLE WAYS DOWN THE BLOCK) Kate?!


KATE

(SO LOUD) Oh shit!

(RECOVERING, LOOKING AROUND) Ella?


ELLA

(STILL SLIGHTLY FAR AWAY) Yeah! Hi.


KATE

Hey.


Did you just get here?


ELLA

(AT NORMAL CONVERSATIONAL DISTANCE) I did. Sorry, morning traffic was even worse than I thought it would be.

Um, if you want to go in you can. I still need to pay for parking.


KATE

No, it's cool, I can come with.


ELLA

The pay station is right next to you.


KATE

Right. Then I can stand right here I guess.


ELLA

Yeah. I'll just--


Actually, before that: Are you a hug person?


KATE

I -- yeah. Sure!


(BEAT OF SILENCE.)

ELLA

Uh, in that case--


KATE

Oh, yeah.


(THEY EMBRACE. A LITTLE SIGHING FROM BOTH. KATE LAUGHS SLIGHTLY.)

ELLA

It's... nice to meet you. Again.


KATE

Yeah, um. Same.


Congrats on still being a real person.


ELLA

You too.


(ANOTHER BEAT. YOU KNOW THEY'RE TOTALLY JUST STARING AT EACH OTHER AWKWARD-SMITTEN. KATE NERVOUS LAUGHS. ELLA JOINS IN. THEN ANOTHER SECOND OF SILENCE.)


KATE

So, you wanna go inside?


ELLA

That sounds good. Just let me do the parking--


KATE

Wow, sorry. Right. I have not had enough coffee yet.


SOUND: UNDER THE NEXT COUPLE LINES - A BILL BEING FED MECHANICALLY INTO A VENDING MACHINE. SOME BEEP-BOOPS, SEVEN BOOPS TO KEY IN A PLATE NUMBER, ANOTHER BOOP to REPRESENT 'OK'. A PRINTER SPITS OUT A TICKET.

ELLA

I guess we came to the right kind of place then.


KATE

Yeah, seriously.


How was your drive in? No, wait, you already said. Not great?


ELLA

Just slow. Coming into the city on a weekday is always a little intense.


KATE

Yeah, makes sense.


ELLA

And you said in your email your flight got in okay?


KATE

Yeah, it was super empty, so more leg room for me.


ELLA

Oh nice.


KATE

Yeah, no complaints. You good?


ELLA

Mmhm.


KATE

Cool. Let me--


SOUND: DOOR OPENS, A TWEE BELL TINGS AS WE MOVE INTO THE INTERIOR OF A SMALL COFFEE SHOP. ON A SCALE FROM FUL PODFIC FANTASY TO KATE'S PLACE, THIS IS SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE.

KATE, CONT.

Go ahead.


ELLA

Oh, thanks.


KATE

At your service.

(INSTANT REGRET) Uh, do you know what's good here?


ELLA

I was hoping you did.


KATE

Oh, right, yeah. Whitney recommended the double espresso and the energy bites? But she's intimidating like that.


ELLA

Have I mentioned that I'm really looking forward to meeting her?


KATE

Good, because she has a lot of opinions about that finale--


ELLA

So we have two things in common.


KATE

What's the other-- oh, no. Wait. Me. I'm the thing. Right, yeah. Uh--

I'm gonna get a cappuccino. Like, the biggest cappuccino. You?


ELLA

That sounds pretty good to me too.


KATE

You wanna grab us a table? I can treat.


ELLA

Are you sure?


KATE

You drove into the city. On a weekday.


ELLA

You literally flew across the country.


KATE

I like to go big.


ELLA

(A LITTLE FLIRTY) You do, huh?


KATE

I --


Oh my god, it's like eight a.m. on the west coast. I seriously wasn't kidding about needing this coffee.


ELLA

You're fine. I'll get us the table in the corner, okay?


KATE

Yeah, that sounds good.


ELLA

And then we're talking about that scene.


KATE

Oh my god, why do I already know what you're talking about?


ELLA

Eye. Patch.


KATE

Neck tattoo!


ELLA

Now that Tony's died, is he still cursed?


KATE

Probably not? I mean, what are they gonna do, kill him again in, what, two more months?


ELLA

They would.


KATE

God, they so would!


Okay -- you, table. Me, coffee. And then we are talking.


ELLA

Hell yeah we are.


(AUDIO DUCKS DOWN TO SILENT FOR A BEAT AS WE SCENE SKIP. PICK BACK UP IN THE SAME COFFEE SHOP AMBI, WHICH WE LISTEN TO FOR A MOMENT BEFORE ELLA SPEAKS.)

ELLA

I really thought I was going to be done with it before the end of the season.


KATE

Yeah, you said you were almost finished the last chapter a week ago. What happened?


ELLA

I keep going into the document to write the last few scenes and... then I stare at it until I lose my nerve and go do something else.


KATE

I mean, if you're worried about the research, I'm pretty sure there's no definitive way to catch a cryptid. So it's not like anyone's gonna be in the comments going "actually, you can only trap a real waheela with cage made of salt and inscribed with ancient runes."


ELLA

Oh no, that part was fine. I really enjoyed writing the action scene.


KATE

So what's got you blocked?


ELLA

...I can't get Tony and Garrett to kiss.


KATE

Oh nooo. That's the worst.


ELLA

Every time I think I've gotten to the right spot it just feels too -- too random. Like I'm trying to force it.


KATE

Force it? I was surprised they didn't kiss last chapter.


ELLA

Because I couldn't get them to do it then either!


KATE

Dude, you write them with insane chemistry. You can tell they've both been wanting to do it for ages. It's not gonna feel forced no matter how it happens.


ELLA

What if you're only saying that because you know they're supposed to wind up together?


KATE

Okay, I'm never the person who gets to say this, but you're way overthinking things.


ELLA

I just want it to be a satisfying conclusion.


KATE

Aw, hey--


ELLA

I should have had them kiss before the monster showed up. They could still have had the same fight about Garrett being a werewolf, and I could haven written a tender reconciliation with my eyes closed.


KATE

Okay, like, I would have still read that, but you've got this.


Whatever kiss you give these two is gonna be so hot it's gonna -- gonna make people swoon right out of their computer chairs.


ELLA

It is just a kissing scene. I'm not upping the rating.


KATE

Swooning, Ella. I'm calling it right now.


ELLA

Thank you. I'll... keep trying, I guess.


KATE

It's just all tension and release, right?


You have a big moment, you build up the emotion, you get both of the characters to the point where there's nothing to do but channel all that feeling into something. And then -- heyyyyy kissing.


ELLA

Does that work for you?


KATE

Uh... okay, honestly the last thing I tried to write is still sitting in my drafts because I couldn't think of a word for lips that didn't sound like... Lips.


ELLA

What's wrong with lips?


KATE

Lips. Like, listen to it. It's just so -- okay, not the point.


What I'm saying is, you're there. You've spent, like, half the summer building this up. You've got the tension. Now all you've gotta do is--


ELLA

(QUIETLY, INTENSE) Pay it off?


KATE

(YUP, VERY INTENSE, DEFINITELY STILL ABOUT FANFICTION)

...yeah. Pay it off.

(A PAUSE)

SOUND: A SPOON RATTLES IN AN EMPTY COFFEE CUP.

KATE

Hey. Do you want to get another round?


ELLA

How many have you had now?


KATE

Technically five-ish? I got extra shots in both of mine.


ELLA

That's kind of amazing. But I think if I have any more caffeine my hands might start shaking.


KATE

(DISAPPOINTED BUT TRYING TO HIDE IT) Oh, sure. You probably have other stuff you need to--


ELLA

Maybe we could go for a walk around here instead?


KATE

(NEVER MIND EVERYTHING IS AWESOME) Yeah, a walk sounds great.

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